Let’s get ready to rumble.
The sport and spectacle of wrestling is among the oldest known to man.
Naked, hand to hand combat was the preferred past time among the ancient Greeks and works of Babylonian art and pottery dating to 3000 BCE celebrate belt wrestling as a sweat soaked erotic art from.
Combining our human hunger for bread and circuses, professional wrestling as we know it today can be traced to the 19th century. Traveling circuses and side shows would often feature ‘strong men,’ a contingent of brawny, bare chested dudes with fantastic monikers, elaborate costumes and curious back stories that would compete against one another, or, for a price and a wager, accept opponents from the crowd.
From these early vaudeville roots, professional wrestling has evolved to its prominent place in pop culture, cemented by the rise and reign of the WWE.
Problematic Virgo Vince McMahon, who purchased what would become the WWE in 1982, served as CEO for forty years before retiring in 2022 amid claims of throwing hush money at his mistresses and fostering a culture that promoted racist story lines and dangerous stereotypes.
McMahon controversy aside, the athletic actors that have made performance art out of feigned feuds, signature moves and tag teams remain an integral part of our cultural collective. In this spirit, we bring you a list of WWE superstars, past and present, that align with each zodiac sign. Read on to learn more.
Predisposed as they are to full horns, high theatrics, and full octane energy, there is approximately nothing subtle about Aries folk.
Enter The Undertaker, the bringer of death and quick hits who was born Mark William Calaway on the onset of Arie season on March 24, 1965.
Relentless by nature, Aries native go for blood and play to win and The Undertaker renowned for “The Streak” a record breaking 21 straight victories, is no exception.
Devoted to his macabre shtick, The Undertaker leverages shock, leather outerwear, the promise of death and tactlessness to disarm and diminish his rivals.
Heiresses to this Aries energy include rams Bianca Belair and Mia Yim.
“Can you smelllllllll what The Rock is cooking?” We can, and it’s no surprise that a food motivated Taurus would work culinary affairs into their wrestling catchphrase. Born May 2, 1972, The Rock is full bull. Taurus rules over the second house of worth and wealth and The Rock has successfully leveraged the former to guarantee the latter, seamlessly, and lucratively, transitioning from being king of the ring to box office gold.
Gemini is ruled by Mercury, planet of exchange so named for the winged sandal wearing god of messaging. In kind, Montez Ford, born May 31, 1990 is a fleet footed former track star who went on to become a wrestling legend. Geminis are associated with duality and represented by the mythical twins Castor and Pollux. Fittingly, Ford is best known for being half of tag team The Street Profits and the other half to Aries queen Bianca Belair.
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Tough but tender Cancer Brock Lesnar proved the caretaking, cardinal water energy of his sun sign when he defeated The Undertaker in a landmark match and then accompanied his opponent to the hospital when he displayed signs of a concussion.
A sweet and terrifying man with White Walker eyes, Lesner is deeply private and little is known about his personal life save for that he loves his wife, his farm in Saskatchewan and his charitable work with the Make A Wish foundation.
The entirety of ‘The Beast Incarnate’s’ vibe suggests he is equally capable of victory in tickle wars, pillow fights and hand to hand combat. It would seems it takes a crab to take down a crab as fellow Cancer Bobby Lashley is one of the few opponents to defeat Lesnar in battle.
Born August 11, Hulk ‘Hulkamania’ Hogan nee Terry Gene Bollea is a burn so bright, live for the adulation of strangers Leo sun.
With his iconic hair/bandanna and indomitable charisma, Hulk is among the most recognizable and beloved figures in professional wrestling. True to the fixed fire of his sign, Hulk had a list of ‘demandments’ that he abided by including a vitamin regiment and a self-love mantra.
In keeping with the spotlight loving energy of the lion pride, he would routinely fall to near defeat before being revived and brought to victory by the sound of audience applause.
Virgos thrive when underestimated, a modality made manifest in Ember Moon, born Adrienne Reese on August 31, 1998.
A victim of childhood bullying, Moon retreated into seclusion, much like the Hermit tarot card associated with her sign, but emerged from isolation more determined than ever to achieve greatness and eclipse/eviscerate her naysayers.
As she explained to The Post, “Now everything that people doubted me on or like bullied me for — and that’s the word for it — I just kind of proved to be stronger than that. I proved to be better than that.I kept standing up and kept proving that I am not going to follow the group.
I am going to follow my own path and it’s OK to do that. That’s kind of what Ember Moon is. I followed my own path.” Forging the path of the true original and leaving a mess of nearsighted haters in her wake? Virgo vengeance at its finest.
The Miz AKA Michael Gregory Mizanin was born on October 8th in the heart of Libra season. Represented by the scales and balances of justice, Libra folk love to stir the proverbial pot and gleefully flee from the chaotic situations they create, a pattern seen in the onscreen antics of the Miz.
It tracks that a Libra like the Miz would drop out of college to pursue fame as a housemate on MTV’s The Real World as these folks are apt to choose cheap attention over advisable action. Runner up goes to Libra Eddie Guerrero who embodied the dastardly qualities of this sign with the memorable admission, “if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” Preach.
The Bella Twins
Nikki and Brie Bella were born sixteen minutes apart on November 21, 1983 making the twins a formidable pair of Scorpios. Fixed water and toxic tail, the eighth sign of the zodiac is noted for being competitive, compassionate, hard loving and fiercely focused in a fight. No strangers to switching places and leveraging a secret, the pair have used their individual and combined powers to rise through the ranks of the WWE and into the realms of mainstream celebrity.
Stone Cold Steve Austin
The face of the “Attitude Era” of the WWF, middle finger waving, beer chugging, s–t talking Stone Cold Steve Austin was born on December 18, 1964, making our man a Sagittarius sun.
Sag folk are natural dissenters, questioners, rule disavowers and free thinkers and Austin fits the bill. Branded an anti-establishment anti-hero, he famously feuded with WWF founder and rule daddy Vince McMahon.
Archers are ever seeking expansion and pushing towards enlightenment, a point proven by Austin who adopted and quoted his own bible verse, “Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your a–!” Bless up rattlesnake, long may you reign.
Chyna Doll nee Chyna, born Joan Marie Laurer on December 27, 1969 was a strive for the top, advancement through adversity Capricorn. Sea goats are known to endure hard knocks and trying childhoods and Chyna, who ran away from home as a teen was no exception.
Using pain as fuel, this Capricorn became an absolute WWF sensation whose ironic moniker pointed to her unbreakable spirit and unparalleled prowess.
Tough as all get out and built to endure, she became a kind of feminist icon who subverted gender norms and inspired a generation of females wrestlers that followed.
Sasha Banks was born Mercedes Justine Kaestner-Varnado on January 26, 1992 making her a full on water bearer and world class wild one. If you are searching for evidence of Bank’s Aquarius nature look no further than the debut of her radical rebrand at New Japan Pro-Wrestling’s Wrestle Kingdom, complete with intergalactic head piece and aggrandizing soliloquy. Now known professionally as Mercedes Mone, Banks reminded the crowd and the world at large, “I am the conversation, the standard, the blueprint and the CEO of this women’s division.” Spoken like a once and future leader and a zero f—s to give Aquarius queen.
As both the most hopelessly romantic and absolutely delusional sign in the zodiac, Pisces is no stranger to being put in the “Crazy Chick” category, a role played with aplomb by IRL Pisces AJ Lee during her time in the WWE.
Lee, who is married to fellow wrestler and water sign CM Punk, now goes by the name AJ Mendez Brooks and is the best selling author of the aptly titled memoir, “Crazy Is My Superpower.”
In true empath Pisces form, she has parlayed her pain and long history with mental illness into a book written to help others who are similarly suffering.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abro
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