All hail the
Day of days, after a seventy year gap in coronation ceremonies, the monarchy is having its moment of pageantry complete with blood oaths and golden orbs, capes and crown.
King Charles III nee Prince Charles, cuckolded from the crown for the majority of his life will be formally made king on May 6th, after ascending to the throne in September after the death of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II.
During the historic ceremony — code-named “Operation Golden Orb” — which low key sounds like a gilded sex toy — Charles, 74, will be anointed with holy oil and made guardian of the realm and his mistress turned missus Camilla will be crowned queen.
The royal family has gone from aspirational to relatable as of late, with the death of their matriarch, devolution of sibling dynamics and the public airing of dirty laundry and dastardly deeds courtesy of the Netflix docuseries “Harry & Meghan” and Harry’s best-selling memoir, “Spare,” which contained numerous bombshells.
Harry, who is attending the ceremony without his wife Meghan Markle and their children, will be exiled to a seat in the eleventh row at the behest of his father. Meanwhile favorite son Prince William has been given the only speaking role and will recite the Homage of Royal Blood (which feels a little elitist with top notes of incest to me) during the ceremony.
All of this is going down amidst some seriously intense astro weather. We’re in the full flush of retrogrades, with Pluto and Mercury currently backspinning. This Mercury retrograde in Taurus may contribute to some sort of delay, trip in the procession, slip of the tongue or broadcast connection failure.
Retrogrades aren’t just a time for communication calamities, neigh, they’re also a time to revisit lingering aches, habits, grudges, lovers and other unfinished business. Under these skies and the bolstering of this backspin I think (and hope) a reconciliation between brothers, or father and son, is possible. Here’s to healing hearts and righting wrongs all around you pale, sad, weird, flock of aristocrats.
The coronation itself takes place one day after a full moon lunar eclipse in Scorpio, a powerful lunation occurring in the most intense sign in the zodiac and the last eclipse taking place along the fixed and possessive axis of abundant earth sign Taurus and shadow dancing water sign Scorpio. Eclipses coincide with closures, plot twists, unexpected endings and cataclysmic change.
Even if these changes in course and fortune are not immediately evident, they set the stage for serious shifts. Add to the mix that cello playing, tampon musing, sausage handed King Charles IS HIMSELF A SCORPIO SUN WITH A TAURUS MOON.
Charle’s sun in Scorpio, along with his Mercury, planet of communication, karmic south node and his wounded Chiron, all fall in his fourth house of home and ancestry. What does it all mean? Our man is headed towards an epic relief/release this weekend, a proverbial exhale and a long needed conclusion. It’s tender, it’s terrifying and it demands blood and tears.
A new era is beginning, a familiar but stifling skin is being shed and a new day is dawning. Hot take; it could also be that this is the last coronation in Britain’s history as calls to abolish the monarchy have grown louder in recent years.
Big day all around, folks.
Given the astroweather surrounding the coronation it could be the stars themselves that cause the most commotion but along with the waning effects of a pivotal eclipse and the remix energy of a retrograde there are a few key players that could well bring the mayhem to the celebration. Read on to learn more.
Prince Louis (Taurus)
Taurus regent Prince Louis not a child, this is a tiny ham/reincarnated tyrant who gives zero f—s and lives to incite. He is also coincidentally my favorite royal. Standing knee high and five years old, my money (and the prayers of a nation) are with PL to make the coronation worth watching. Can’t wait to see what that kid brings to the ceremony and the kind of teenager he blooms into.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Meghan Markle (Leo)
Leave it to a Leo like Meghan Markle to redirect attention, take a stand and cause a stir an ocean away from the action. Represented by the kingly lion, Leo is the most regal sign in the zodiac and is fixed AF; they won’t be told, they won’t play nice and they will never, ever be outshined.
Markle’s planned absence has already caused more controversy than anyone else’s attendance. Shout out to Taurus Archie whose birthday is being usurped by the coronation.
I trust this young bull will hold tight to this oversight and leverage it to a grudge match and that his fierce lion momma to throw him a real banger of a fourth birthday party with better weather, California casual dress code, organic cake and Oprah as a guest of honor.
Call me crazy (whispers, they always do) but Meghan Markle being a bit of a disruptor, defector feels far less problematic in the long run to disgraced Prince Andrew being a probable sex offender. Give me a mean girl over a pederast any day, folks.
Virgo Prince Harry has both Pluto and Saturn in Scorpio; Saturn is the patriarch planet of tough lessons, hard knocks and persistent daddy issues, cough, Charles, cough and Pluto is the planet of transformation through trauma suggesting that this weekend will be a real bang up, baptism by fire, better on the other side of the tunnel few days for our favorite redheaded second son.
As healing is a journey, the emotional reaction of Harry to the coronation proceedings and his treatment therein is one to watch and one that might surprise us all.
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Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
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